Permission to Laugh: When They Say the Sweetest Things

Humor in dementia care - Because sometimes, what they say brings light back into the room.

When Words Surprise You—in the Best Way

Caregiving comes with long days, emotional weight, and unpredictable turns. But then, without warning, your loved one says something that catches you off guard—in a good way.

“You should run for president. You’re better than the last five.”

“You’re my favorite person to do nothing with.”

“Are we on a date? Because this sandwich is great.”

You pause. And then you both smile. Maybe even laugh .And just like that… something lifts.

That moment isn’t silly. It’s sacred.

Why Gentle Humor in Dementia Care Brings Us Back to Ourselves

These brief, joyful comments aren’t just cute or funny. They are:

• Signs of emotional awareness

• Opportunities for connection

• Reminders that the person you love is still here in spirit

According to research published in The Gerontologist, shared laughter can increase emotional closeness and improve quality of life—for both caregivers and those living with dementia.

Even one heartfelt chuckle can reduce stress and support emotional regulation.

A Caregiver’s Story: “He Called Me His Favorite Stranger”

“I was helping my dad eat his lunch, and I guess I was being a little bossy. He looked at me, smiled, and said,‘You know, for a stranger, you’re kind of my favorite.’ I could’ve cried—but instead, I laughed. Not because it didn’t hurt a little. But because his spirit was still shining through. In that moment, we weren’t caregiver and care recipient. We were just two people, enjoying a sandwich and a smile.”

How to Welcome These Moments

You don’t have to force laughter. But you can make space for it.

1. Be Present, Not Perfect

Sometimes the best moments come during quiet tasks: brushing hair, folding towels, washing dishes.

If your loved one says something sweet or funny, stop and enjoy it. You don’t need a script—just your attention.

2. Reflect Their Joy

If they smile, smile back. If they say something lighthearted, let yourself respond gently.

Even if they don’t remember the words tomorrow, they’ll remember the feeling.

3. Write It Down

Keep a journal or a phone note for the funny, touching things they say.

Not only does it help you hold onto joy—it gives you something to share later with others who care.

💡 Caregiver Reflection

• What’s something your loved one said recently that made you smile?

• Do you give yourself permission to laugh during hard days?

• How could noticing these moments help you feel more grounded?

Laughter doesn’t take away the pain. But it reminds us we’re still alive in the middle of it.

💬 Words to Carry

You don’t need to be funny. You don’t need to make them laugh.

But when laughter comes—let it in.

It’s not an escape. It’s an arrival.

“Joy is not made to be a crumb.” —Mary Oliver

🗓️ Coming Next:

“A Break Without Guilt: What Respite Really Means.” In our next Caregiver Transformation post, we’ll talk about how stepping away helps you stay connected and how to take a break with intention and peace.